


A Flerken May Look at a God

by Reflected_Skies



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 18:13:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18834040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reflected_Skies/pseuds/Reflected_Skies
Summary: What if Goose had been on the Helicarrier when Loki was brought onboard?





	A Flerken May Look at a God

Bruce watched as Loki walked past, hands cuffed behind his back, surrounded by guards, and smirking. He hoped that the smirk, the confidence, was a sign of Loki’s madness. He feared it was not, that Loki was in complete control of the situation. Bringing Loki here could prove to be an even bigger mistake than bringing Bruce.

Loki suddenly backpedaled, bumping into one of the guards, who nearly fell over. Loki did not seem to notice, stepping back further, face pale and eyes wide. The guards were moving, giving orders, guns raised, but Loki’s gaze was focused in front of him.

“What’s up with crazy pants?” Tony peered around Bruce, watching Loki apparently be absolutely terrified by absolutely nothing.

“A trick, maybe?”

“Let’s find out.” Still holding his tablet, Tony ducked out the door. “Huh.”

Curiosity overcame his caution, and Bruce followed Tony into the hall, grabbing a weapon as he went. The scene looked the same as it had through the window, except now Bruce could see what was frightening Loki.

It was a cat.

Just a normal cat, orange and lanky and stepping closer to Loki, who was continuing to back away, not even noticing the guards who were trying to hold him in place. The most remarkable thing about the cat, other than Loki’s reaction, was that it was on the Helicarrier at all. Maybe they had the same rat problem that had plagued ships as long as humans had been sailing, Bruce mused, and were using the same cure.

“Get that thing away from me,” Loki gasped. “Why is it even here?”

“That’s Director Fury’s cat,” one of the guards said, gun trained on Loki but his professional agent face starting to break, his lips twitching as he tried not to smile.

“He’s keeping it as a _pet_?” Loki lifted his eyes to stare at the agent who had spoken, who stepped back, hands tightening on his gun. The cat took advantage of Loki’s distraction and ran a few more steps and leapt, landing on Loki’s thigh and climbing up to his shoulder. Loki had passed “pale as a ghost” and was now looking faintly green. Bruce considered pointing out that was his schtick, but he was more interested to see how this played out.

“Wow, someone has cat-phobia. There’s probably a word for that.” Tony sounded calm, but his gaze was fixed on Loki and he was staying behind the guards, near the door to the lab.

“Ailurophobia,” one of the guards called out. They were all smiling now, but their guns were still up, attention still focused on Loki.

“I like a man who knows useless trivia,” Tony said cheerfully, winking at the guard. “Right, shouldn’t we be getting the god of getting his ass kicked into a cell somewhere? Maybe a straight jacket?”

“You are not locking me up with this thing!” Loki was standing rigid, breathing rapid, watching the cat as best he could without actually turning his head.

The cat rubbed its face against Loki’s cheek.

The guard who had identified the cat as Fury’s pet approached cautiously. “Here Goose, come on down, we’ll get you some nice kitty treats.” Goose hissed. The guard shrugged and stepped back. “I tried. I don’t have the security clearance to touch him.”

“The cat outranks you?” One of the other agents, presumably one who hadn’t known about Fury’s cat before today, snickered.

Not wanting the situation to get any more derailed, Bruce spoke up. “Maybe we should ask Thor?” If his brother had some kind of cat-phobia, Thor should know how to deal with it. And if this was a trick, Bruce wanted Thor nearby to take Loki down.

“An excellent idea,” Loki agreed, emphatically enough that Bruce was suspicious. The guards escorted Loki down the hall, Bruce trailing behind and Tony in front, walking backwards and holding his tablet up, recording and narrating everything. Bruce was beginning to believe Loki really was afraid—he doubted Loki would tolerate Tony this much if his attention was not completely focused on his biggest fear currently sitting on his shoulder. Bruce almost felt sorry for him; this could not be easy for Loki, and Bruce had seen stranger phobias, and worse reactions. They were probably lucky Loki had not broken his cuffs and just flung the cat into a wall.

Once they reached the conference room where Thor, Steve, and Natasha were talking together, Tony turned around to announce their presence. “Hey big guy, why didn’t you tell us about your crazy brother’s cat phobia? We could have unleashed some calicos, been finished before lunch.”

“Loki does not fear cats.” Thor looked puzzled, until he saw Loki, taller than all his guards, the cat comfortably perched on his shoulder. Then Thor paled, hand tightening on his hammer’s handle. “That is no cat!”

“I am well aware of that,” Loki snapped. “Get it off of me!”

Natasha sauntered over, the guards stepping aside for her. “Hey there, Goose.” She stopped in front of Loki and reached up to scratch the cat’s chin. “Tell me where Barton is, and how to break the mind control, and I’ll get the cat off of you.”

Loki sneered. “Break it? You think it is reversible? Your Barton is gone. Forever.”

Natasha clenched her jaw, but recovered quickly. “Well then, Goose, I guess you got yourself a new perch.” She turned and started to walk away.

“Wait!”

Natasha stopped, but did not turn around. 

“They are not far from a place called New York. A few hours journey, to the north and west, in one of your vehicles. If you give me a map, I can show you more precisely.”

“And the mind control?” Natasha still had not turned around.

Loki was silent for a moment, glancing over towards Bruce. No, Bruce realized, looking down at his hand, the spear. He barely remembered picking it up. Bringing Loki here was definitely a bad idea. “I am the bearer,” Loki said, “not the master.”

“Huh,” Tony said, and Steve’s eyebrows went up, while Thor frowned. 

“The Flerken?”Loki prompted.

“The what?” Natasha turned around, and Loki gestured to the cat. “What happened to the cuffs?”

“The ruse ceased to be amusing,” Loki replied as the SHIELD agents raised their guns again, training them on Loki. “I was hardly going to remain at even more of a disadvantage.”

“OK.” Steve stepped forward. “We have a lot more questions, but let’s start with the ‘Flerken’. How can you tell that’s a Flerken and not a cat?” Bruce didn’t think that was the most important question at the moment, but he was curious too, and maybe there would be something useful in the answer, like “Flerkens are orange” and then they could just let all the aliens know that Earth had loads of orange cats and be safe from invasion for the foreseeable future.

“The size, for one. Even your dull senses should notice that.”

“Um, Goose is cat-sized.” Bruce eyeballed the cat, but all the proportions seemed normal.

“He speaks truth,” Thor assured his brother. “That is the size of cats on this realm.”

Loki finally turned his head enough to actually look at Goose, going cross-eyed as he tried to focus on the animal so near to his face. “Truly? You would need a score of them to pull a chariot.”

All the humans stared at Loki. Thor nodded. One of the agents muttered “How many alien cats does it take to pull a chariot?” and a couple other guards laughed, choking it back quickly when Loki turned his head to glare at them.

“Two,” he answered calmly. “Obviously.”

Deciding this was not a line of question worth pursuing, Steve switched to the actual important questions. “Who is the spear’s master?” 

Loki did not answer. His hands twitched, and Bruce was sure that the only reason he had not done anything yet was because he did not dare upset Goose by moving suddenly. Naturally, this is when Goose decided to jump down, landing on the table and sauntering towards Bruce and Tony. Loki jerked backwards when Goose leapt, as did Thor. Natasha suddenly had a gun in her hand, pointed at Loki, and even Tony had raised his hand, palm out, forgetting he did not have a blaster. Loki smirked, gestured, and Tony was flung to the side by an invisible force. People opened fire as Loki lunged for the spear. Desperately, Bruce flung it towards Tony as Loki’s hand closed on Bruce’s shoulder.

*****  
Coulson liked to believe he was prepared for anything, and that he could remain unruffled even when the unexpected happened, but walking into the conference room to see the newly formed Avengers, ten agents, and Loki, all huddled against the far wall, staring in apparent horror at Fury’s cat, which was sitting on the table and licking his paw, was bizarre enough to make him pause.

“In answer to your previous question,” Loki said, voice wavering slightly, “that is how you break the mind control.”

Coulson assessed Loki more carefully. He was at the back of the group, leaning against Thor. He looked pale and clammy, like he had when he first came through the portal.

“What is going on?” Fury demanded, striding forward.

“Sir,” Captain Rogers said, “your cat...he ate the spear.”

“What?” Coulson and Fury said together. Coulson was incredulous, but Fury just sounded angry. He strode over to the table and picked up Goose, giving him a gentle shake. There were gasps and a soft “don’t” from the group. “Not again! Cough it up, Goose.”

Goose yawned. The group collectively flinched back. If it were not for everything else that had happened the past few days, Coulson would suspect he was being pranked.

Fury sighed and put Goose down, petting him a couple times before Goose squirmed free and stretched out, belly exposed. “Well that’s just wonderful. This is what I get for not hiring a cat sitter.” He glared at the group. “Congratulations. You have all just been let in on a highly classified, Level 10 security secret. Anyone who can’t keep this quiet is going to get laughed out of SHIELD. I suggest you forget what you saw. Don’t even think about it. Agents, you are all dismissed. Go get a drink.”

The agents saluted and slowly filed out, taking the long way around to keep as much distance between themselves and Goose.

“Sir?” Coulson asked.

“Goose is an alien. Can swallow just about anything, even things as big as a man. Found out during that incident with the Kree.”

He seemed completely sincere, and it did explain some things. “You never mentioned this before.”

“Need to know, Agent.”

Coulson frowned. “I’ve cat-sat for you.”

“Yeah, but he likes you. Only eats people he doesn’t like.”

Someone, Coulson could not tell who, made a strangled sound at that. Fury ignored it and sat down at the head of the table. “Have a seat.” Slowly the others came over. Loki, with Thor next to him, sat at the foot of the table, as far as possible from Goose. “Now. Someone want to explain why the prisoner is here, unchained, instead of in his cell?”

“Your cat likes him.” Stark’s voice was bland, but he was studying Loki carefully. 

“The bearer, but not the master.” Captain Rogers sounded like he was quoting someone. “How much control did you have?”

“More importantly, where’s Barton?” Natasha leaned forward to glare at Loki. “Someone give him a map of New England. Although it might not be necessary; if the mind control is broken, Barton will be contacting us.”

“What is your species’ pain tolerance?” Loki was slumped in his chair. “If what he felt was anything like what I did, he may not be conscious. Which may be just as well—my other...recruits...are not friendly to SHIELD.”

“But you used the spear on them anyway.” Fury’s voice was dry.

Loki shrugged. “It seemed prudent.” After a pause, he continued. “Those assisting Selvig lack the understanding necessary to continue without instruction. Some may try to take the Tesseract, but none will be able to use it.” 

“Won’t stop them from trying,” Fury pointed out as Tony used his tablet and to project a map over the table. “Coulson, I want a team assembled and ready to move out, now. Our priority is securing the Tesseract and our lost agents. Loki, you are going to cooperate or I’ll feed you to my cat.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “It is obvious that you have no control over who, or what, he does or does not eat. But,” Loki grimaced, “refusing at this point will not save me. I may as well throw my lot in with you fools. It can hardly be any worse.” Before anyone could ask him to explain that comment, Loki pointed at the map. “Your agents are here or,” he shifted his finger slightly, “here, preparing the planes. They should still be on the ground; it is too soon for them to have left for the next attack.” 

Loki proceeded to give the necessary information: numbers, weapons, building layout. Coulson jotted notes on his tablet, mentally choosing agents to assist the Avengers in retrieving Barton and Selvig, realizing as he listened to Loki give all the information he needed without being prompted that Loki was a soldier, a leader and tactician, who understood exactly what information they needed; and he wondered how badly this would have gone if it were not for Fury deciding to bring his cat to work today.

Seemingly oblivious to the way all eyes focused on him whenever he moved, Goose stood, stretched, leapt off the table, and calmly strolled out the door to patrol the rest of the Helicarrier.


End file.
